they pulled my hair at charm school.
they
stole my guestbook during
rolecall.
Geography of Unruly Things. + February 4. 2002 = 11:18 p.m.
+ will / will not In my head : rooftops & scraps of old thoughts. heavy brown paper and grosgrain ribbon. last thursday's odd lighting. fog. mud. ben and I drive to lyman rd. with his perfect wrists extended he pulls me closer to him. dirt roads with highway sounds in the distance. saturday night is an hour long wait to get into a cat power show at davis ballroom. lawn of iced snow. cat power is mask of long black hair. at the piano she sings "i found a reason" and my pulse speeds up. later, she whistles and "woo woo"s. gets languid audience to sing along to "knockin' on heaven's door." sunday and I know: must cut my hair off. unruly & bothersome. but not too short. was it wrong that, tonight, after ben leaves, I run down three flights of stairs in my barefeet. he has already made it down the street, yet, I can not be stopped. by time I reach him , he is in car selecting cd for ride home. was it wrong that I climbed into passenger seat and kiss away his puzzled look. hmmm. this is what happens when one is used to p l a y i n g it cool. these strange bursts of unruly sentiments. (photograph that matches last event: dark street. long line of parked cars. girl stands in barefeet. coatless and waiting to cross street. boys in boots/leather jackets/dark wool hats have hands on car door handles. the look on their f a c e s ...)
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