they pulled my hair at charm school.

they stole my guestbook during rolecall.

grrr, resolve to be HARD HEADED, + JUNE 24. 2003 = 12:03 a.m.

+

(the conversation at work with y . about eating. about not eating. in the dingy back room. she holds out her arms. carrot sticks. i tell her about the things i did after n. & i broke up. as if : that would stop her. and it all seems like a choose-your-own-adventure book gone awry. if you want to exercise yourself to death, turn to page 87. if you choose the tequila guzzling diet, go to 66. )

(after work. walking in murky green-grey light with b. pauses in conversation in which i wonder if i will always play the role of MELODRAMA with such ease. )

admit : honesty = knuckle sandwich with a glass of punch on the side.

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ghosts!