do sneak cigarettes late at night

they pulled my hair at charm school.

they stole my guestbook during rolecall.

draw xxxs and ooos on wrists + 11-11 2003 = 11:49 a.m.

dear performance anxiety dreams,

i loathe you. it is your fault for convincing me i could play the piano in the first place!

xoxox mew-mew

it has been a strange fall. our living room now has three couches in it. Dev is updating again! i have started a serious savings account. two weekends ago i betrayed my country-bred heritage by grabbing onto an electric fence while trying to woo a white pony in bennington, vt. (i have never seen an electric fence that looked like soft white touchable strips of canvas!!) knitting scarves. apple pie making. fish taco dinners at the seventies house. lost in translation at the academy. article on tina fey in the new yorker. reading mary gaitskill's 'secretary' story out loud to n.m. on the front porch of 65 T. early morning car drives & dark chocolate espresso beans w/ PF. long talks with carolee & esef. a weird week of balmy weather. this week = pulling long lost mittens & coats from boxes buried in the closet. creating "to do" lists and trying to get self to DO THINGS instead of shoving these slips of paper underneath the couch cushions... that has been the hardest of all.

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ghosts!