they pulled my hair at charm school.

they stole my guestbook during rolecall.

four hours of sleep, for me, + feb 7.2002 = 3:00 a.m.

+

three a.m. ? !

if i go back to bed ,

it will be: yellow sheets & he'll be sleeping, &

sleep

is something i just can not do right now. challenging it all * asking certain things to stand u p and say fuck you, ))))))

ggrrrr,

feel unruly. & this is ugly. but doyou know this feeling? too proud to just give in and go to sleep and forget the searching out and fighting off of new ideas/

sometimes, it seems truly unfair that other people know us better than we know ourselves. ~ !

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ghosts!