they pulled my hair at charm school.
they
stole my guestbook during
rolecall.
from one day to the next, + 2003-02-07 = 1:50 p.m.
+ Dear To Whom It May Concern, it is snowsnow snow. on windshields. on highway lines. on rooftops, tweed caps, telephone lines, store awnings, pine trees. you're in a city. or a country. or a town. or a seaside locale. and i am in a small town that applies a thin veneer of city life to itself every morning. i work in an even smaller place that is gleefully playing victim to walmarts&barnesandnobles&target shoppes. we have jobs. we put in eight plus hours. we live in cramped buildings. we eat boring food for lunch. we get floored on coffee. we spend countless hours with people we hardly know. we take telephone calls & act polite. we pass emails back & forth in an effort to entertain ourselves. we take buses. we walk home on nice days. we drive cars and count on the windshield wipers. we pass by those walmarts&barnesandnobles &dbmarts. we spend too much money on drinks&meals out & tickets to see bands&movies & friends in bands & people we think of as quasi-friends in movies. (giovanni ribisi would like me in real life. i know it. so would :edward norton. and maggie gly..) sigh. it is all so very boring to me sometimes. and you? my suxness level seems to be growing. it is gigantic. it is Radical. I want to finish stories & send them out. yet, am having hard time finding real worth/ value/blahblahblah in them. why bother, sometimes : it must be true! read quote from fashionmodel/actress/rockstar in which she stated (ohyes, For the Record!) : every day is a fight against my natural state of laziness. or something like that. i am very lazy. it's true. as of late: have been slowly pushed out of my dream world. it is very hard to take at times. hard that : other people know you better than you know yourself. it is very hard , to , SNAP, change. prestomatic! presto-matic-mice. esp. when you know you will only grow sm a lll e r iff you do not change. am very afraid of growing small small small as i find it very easy to take Easy Way Out. scrawl my name in cursive & cross fingers. .....icanchangeicanchangei'ma milliondifferent people oYEsOmy.
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