do sneak cigarettes late at night

they pulled my hair at charm school.

they stole my guestbook during rolecall.

shadow boxes & behold : light & dark + January 22. 2002 = 3:29 p.m.


Say it : things get in the way.

Things get in the way: strands of hair, teeth, silver belt buckles with strange fastening devices, miles & radio static, the yellow bathroom (circa 1994) with its heavy shower curtain and shelves crammed with items belonging to high school boyfriend, morning, his "i. don't . feel . worthy. " statement.

But, here, hold my hand while we drive. Here is the small city I live in. Drop me off in front of my apartment building. Brick & sun & snow. Red Saabs. Silver Subarus. A white truck with blue stripes. Man in grey uniform clasps catalogs (no letters) for my mail slot. Your choppy brown hair. Your head on my shoulder. I kiss your forehead. Later, I will try not to worry about pinning down _ my sentiments_ . You do not seem to worry about the shadow box you have created out of your own.

loveis a deep and a dark and a lonely. _carl sandburg

play: wilco i thought i held you | the eels damn, i wish i was your lover| wilco outtasite (outta mind) & ashes of an american flag

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