they pulled my hair at charm school.
they
stole my guestbook during
rolecall.
"That movie was made for You. It's Dreamy, the way you want Life to Be." + APRIL 11 __2002 = 11:55 p.m.
+ The truth of the matter, is this: Charm School may not exist but it is where I live. As of late: am questioning why I live here. Why I walk around with a stack of old heavy books balanced on my head? Why I spend hrs+ looking at self in mirror in effort to look presentable? WhywhyWhy I lust after new fashionable things in shop windows and magazines? Why, though I often feel taken down by it, I build reality up to be something it will never be? Ah, there is some point I am trying to make, but instead , Let me change the subject. Night with beau in my bed. Before falling fast asleep he grabs me: "I am so excited to get breakfast with you in the morning." He missed my cheekbones. He cut his hair and the back of his head feels very sweet. Breakfast & afternoon movie. (Monster's Ball. Hmmm. Have lots of comments about that one. Seems to me, many plot lines left wide open and... issues raised but not truly examined. Unless point was: life is messy & not ever truly examined. But, I don't buy that one. Billy Bob is Very Fine Actor _ does awkward shy man so well. Also, talented at scary & mean.) Long walk up by Community Gardens. Sun & it wears us out. Later, dinner is : take-out picnic on downtown bench with Dan. Discuss movies & his girlfriend & plans for this weekend's trip to Boston.
Coffee & then I head home for nap. mmm. sometimes, is so nice to walk a block home with videos & books from a friend's apartment. This never happened where I grew up in the Berkshires as all of my friends lived miles + miles + miles of dirt roads away from me. Also nice to : walk block or so and meet friends at local bar. I stayed in tonight though. Too tired. Midnight & I shall now retreat to my dorm room at Charm school. Shall proceed to brush hair 100strokes before retiring. meaow mew mew miu mow meew!
p.s. apartment next to apt34 & woman is sobbing. aieee. a very heart wrenching sound & nothing to do. shall retreat to bed & hope she is o k a y. & also, never realized how thin our walls are. paper & all those fall nights where I was the one crying very hard, loudly...
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