do sneak cigarettes late at night

they pulled my hair at charm school.

they stole my guestbook during rolecall.

Do: listen to old_radiohead + APRIL 17____2002 = 11:14 p.m.

+

Ooooooo,

today was absolute torture. Start morning with an irrational cry in shower. ????? Then: itchy allergy eyes, exposed nerves. Apply a thin veneer of patience & charm & wit to cover the EVIL I truly felt whilst doing my eight working hours. But, late night :

Bare feet propped up on radiator. Open window.

Skirt and soft tank top and the air feels nice on newly exposed spring skin.

Talk into black telephone and the Beau's voice sews my nerves back into place.

Admire inky stitches before falling asleep on top of covers.

+In dreams: Marc�s Mother hands Jeff & I Turkish Delight wrapped in glassine envelopes __ also, there are rh songs playing in the background on an old stereo that does not have any buttons:

�the troubled words of a troubled mind i try to understand what is eating you.

i try to stay awake but its 58hours since that i last slept with you.

what are we coming to?

i just don't know anymore.�

�i get on the train and i just stand about now that i don't think of you.

i keep falling over i keep passing out when i see a face like you.

what am i coming to?

i'm gonna melt down.�

�But I can't help the feeling

I could blow through the ceiling

If I just turn and run

And it wears me out, it wears me out

It wears me out, it wears me out

And if I could be who you wanted

If I could be who you wanted

All the time, all the time�

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