they pulled my hair at charm school.

they stole my guestbook during rolecall.

Notes from the Underground + May 29. 2002 = 7:15 p.m.

+

Dear Charm School,

Mew mew was absent from classes this past month due to a brief period of deep disillusionment with her current station in life. During this period we encouraged her to lounge around in skimpy outfits on hotel balconies, to stay up all hours of the night dancing to music from Bollywood soundtracks, to accept drinks with strange names from handsome men with boring names, to scribble barely decipherable notes (how the Bloody HElLL did this get published.!!!grrr) in the margins of modern novels, to forget her manners, ass kissing, and minding of her p's and q's. I am sure that you can see the educational experience gained from such "true-to-life" pursuits and that you have not thrown her bed and belongings into the school's dumpster down by the hockey fields. She will soon be back on the charm school track - returning/sending emails (j in boston, bookstore b., and iheartkane). air-kissing, and pressing heavy linen napkins to the corners of her made-up-pretty- like-a-magazine-ad mouth between bites.

With all due respect,

The Guardians oF mew mew.

(brilliantly forged signature in this space.)

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