they pulled my hair at charm school.
they
stole my guestbook during
rolecall.
What the Wedding Looked Like, Part One. + August 31. 2003 = 7:00 p.m.
+ Dear seven o'clock on Sunday night, I went to the wedding. In a dress. In a dress that I didn't really like and in shoes that nobody understood. ( Sister the First took one look and announced: very Sex In the City, you can get away with it though. Translation: We all know you are a little crazy, but we love you anyway.) But, you must recall, dear readers, that this wedding was not about me. Read on. The wedding took place in a stone church in Dalton, Ma, where four generations of my family have tied the knot. The groom cried throughout the entire ceremony. When my cousin swept down the aisle in her sassy wedding frock (the front looking very conservative and sleek, the back racy with its corset inspired silk ribbons) all of my Aunts began to cry. The groom's mother looked like Coco Chanel. My little sister was the Maid of Honor. The bridesmaid's dresses had lustrous backs that proved to be quite distracting during the ceremony. My cousin fought with the photographer and won. Drive with the Beau to Lenox for the reception. Drink three cosmos before dinner has been served. Admonish little sister's boyfriend for not wearing a Jerry Garcia tie. Smile & hope he doesn't realize I was teasing as he explains they didn't match his shirt. Admire views from stone steps of resort. Take inexplicable comfort in knowing Edith Wharton's home is tucked into the nearby hills. Make unsteady progress to Table 19. Kiss and hug relatives. Kiss and hug beau. Make out with beau during dinner, shocking! Grow inordinately fond of bathroom due to its tropical warmth, the dining area is air-conditioned hell. Take cousin by shoulders and exclaim : YOU are the most BEAUTIFUL bride EVER! Smile after beau kisses me and says : You are Soooo Drunk! Do the twist with Flower Girl. Worry later that dress may have, er, um, snuck up a bit too far during that one twist that had my thighs an inch above the floor. After dinner & dancing & martinis & champagne & more martinis nod to the Beau's inquiry re: home.
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