they pulled my hair at charm school.
they
stole my guestbook during
rolecall.
After the party , it's the Hotel Lobby... + August 31. 2003 = Sara = Hot Date
+ How to Get Home After the Wedding. 1. Throw up in bushes outside of swanky resort. Hope that driver of Ford Explorer will not find any reason to walk around to rear of vehicle. 2. Shrug shoulders sadly when beau notes Eau de Puke lingering on your party frock. 3. Close eyes for the entire hour ride home. Clutch at stomach. Blindly nod as beau points out your place of employment, smile slightly as he makes some jokes re: your current state. 4. Throw up in bushes outside of beau's 70's house. Later, declare fondness for bushes when asked why you ignored the bright, warm, cheerful toilet bowl awaiting you inside. 5. When you do stumble inside it will be in the fantastic combo of drooled-upon-and-quite-skimpy slip & jeans. Slink towards Beau's bedroom and hope his housemates don't take notice of your complete state of disarray. 6. Fall in love with Beau as he holds out cup of water & tries to make you open your eyes and drink. Refuse water. Refuse to open eyes. Feel better when you start to sob. Beau pushes messy hair behind your ears and you cry big, fat, crazy, Drunk Person tears because you miss your mother and wish she could have been at wedding. 7. Fall asleep sitting up in bed, in jeans, with a green blanket over your head. 8. At 7 a.m. get up to gargle with Scope & clean eye make-up off your splotchy face. 9. Thank Beau for playing SuperCute Nurse. Make fun of self in effort to prove you remember events of previous night. 10. Blanch in shower as he tells you are horrible dancing partner. Er, um, we danced? Yes, you sloppy drunk, you!
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