they pulled my hair at charm school.

they stole my guestbook during rolecall.

Let's play Catch Up, shall we? + June 14. 2002 = 11:04 a.m.

+

Truth: I've never been very good at new spaces. I avoid my bed in the new room with yellow walls and two doors. My clothes are still crammed in the huge red suitcase (with wheels!). Mail addressed to apt34 lies unopened on the floor. Shoes are crammed under my bed.

Truth: I have only spent one night here thus far. Thirteen June nights... where I have slept? Ben's bed, my old bed at the P. house.

Truth: I am very afraid that I am stuck in rut and that the mud that once soiled my ankles has now turned to concrete.

Truth: I am afraid because of this Ben will soon be B O R ED to TE A RS by yours truly.

Truth: I lie awake at night making lists of THING TO DO to change.

Truth: am happy reading books (am in middle of art lover A Biography of Peggy Guggenheim & The Nanny Diaries, taking long walks at dusk, going out for breakfast with Ben, making summer plans for J ul y and A u gu st. ... blahblahblahblahblah.

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ghosts!