do sneak cigarettes late at night

they pulled my hair at charm school.

they stole my guestbook during rolecall.

wind & windows_4a.m. + February 28.2002 = 11:46 p.m.

+

by 4a.m. have fallen in love with the sound of the row of windows rattling in their frames. reminds one of : old New England houses perched precariously close to the East Coast. old bookcases. sand & salt water. third floor attic bedrooms. eaves. clapboard weathered a dark blue. skinny staircases. oversized beds, down comforters, braided rugs. thin cats named mabel and hezekiah, olive and crow.

windows rattle in apt34 and in my bed : ben turns over and his breathing is deep and even. asleep, finally, after his round of tossing and turning due to cough and runny nose. 8a.m. and he has my face in his hands. panes of glass let in strong sun. lean back , close eyes & : easy to imagine the beach and striped towels, unruly waves. xoxoxxo

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ghosts!